Education Beyond Borders

5 Signs to Reach Out to a Friend Who Is Struggling at School

It can be difficult to tell when a friend is struggling. They may put on a brave face and act like everything is okay, even when it’s clearly not. As a friend, it’s important to be there for them, but you can’t help if you don’t know what’s going on. Here are five signs that your friend may be struggling and in need of help.

They’re Isolating Themselves

If your friend suddenly stops hanging out with you and other friends, it may be a sign that they’re struggling. They may be withdrawing from social activities because they’re feeling overwhelmed or down. Or, they may be feeling ashamed and like they don’t deserve to have fun. If you notice that your friend is isolating themselves, reach out and invite them to do something with you. Let them know that you care about them and want to help.

They’re Not Taking Care of Themselves

If your friend starts neglecting their personal hygiene or stops taking care of themselves, it may be a sign of a bigger problem. They may not have the energy to take care of themselves because they’re depressed or anxious. Or, they may have an eating disorder and are restricting their food intake. If you notice that your friend isn’t taking care of themselves, reach out and offer to help them out. You could offer to do their laundry for them or cook them a meal. Just let them know that you’re there for them.

Their Mood Is Changing Dramatically

If your friend seems happy one minute and then sad the next, it could be a sign that they’re struggling emotionally. They may be trying to hide their feelings from you and others. Or, they may be swinging between extremes because they’re not sure how to cope with their emotions. If you notice that your friend’s mood is changing dramatically, reach out and ask if they want to talk about what’s going on. Let them know that you care about them and are always there to listen.

Their Performance Is Suffering

If your friend starts struggling at school, it may be a sign that they need help. They may be having difficulty concentrating or remembering things because of anxiety or depression. Or, they may be using drugs or alcohol to cope with their problems, which is affecting their performance. If you notice that your friend’s performance is suffering, reach out and offer to help them study or get organized. You could also suggest meeting with their teacher so that you can all come up with a plan to help them succeed.

They Keep Making excuses  

If every time you try to hang out with your friend, they always have an excuse as to why they can't meet up with you. While it's normal for people to cancel plans from time-to-time, if your friend is constantly making excuses, it might be a sign that something is wrong. They may not want to see you because they're embarrassed about their appearance or behavior. Or, they may be using drugs or alcohol and don't want you to see them under the influence. If you notice that your friend is making excuses all the time, reach out and ask if there's anything going on that they want to talk about. Let them know that you're there for them no matter what.


If you notice any of these signs in your friend, reach out and offer your support. Let them know that you care about them and are there to help however you can. If they're reluctant to talk at first, try again later. Sometimes people just need some time to process what's going on before they're ready to talk about it. If they are really struggling, it may be necessary to guide them towards more professional help, whether that be therapy, or something more specific like residential eating disorder treatment. The most important thing is that you let your friend know that you're there for them no matter what happens.

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